another place, another time (it was always in our teenage minds)
by Where The Stars End
Summary: Lily and James have been friends since high school. Lily has liked James since high school. So much so that she wrote poems about him. And how everything would just work out in five years. Low and behold, after five years later they find themselves together in the same small town. And ready to fall in love. Modern AU based semi on my life


**This is based on a poem I wrote about a guy friend. The same one as past works. I decided to write a Jily fic about it. About how I am currently feeling. Maybe it will give you guys an inside view on how I'm feeling and why I haven't gone back to Game of Wands just yet. While I still have three years to wait, I wrote Lily in my shoes. Because maybe if she gets better, I will too. I also pushed to publish this because I knew Petals was out of spoons, and as a fellow spoonie, I had to help any way I could.**

Lily never really had any complaints about life. Yeah her dad worked often, forcing her mom to make jokes about being a single mother. And her sister kinda sucked, but life was still good. She was a good student and was loved. Looking back, Lily would think about how sad and stressed her mother must of been, but she didn't show it. Her mother's mask was firmly in place. Almost as well as Lily's mask would become.

Lily didn't start to hate her life until high school. That's when it all went shit. When her parents separated, and her grandfather died, and her mom got cancer. All in the span of four months. Her friends where a bright spot in a dark dark time, one friend in particular.

Lily isn't sure when she became friends with him, he just sort of appeared in her friend group. All of a sudden he was there, and they hung out every free period. James appeared almost as suddenly as Lily's feelings for James appeared. He just came into her life, and changed her for the better. They had only been really good friends for a little over four moments before Lily had broken down and told him about her mom. The first person. Lily has stayed silent on the subject for weeks, but something about that band room and him made her break. And James didn't say anything dumb like, it will be okay or I'm sorry. He just listened. And that's all Lily needed. And once that gate was open, it would never shut again. The day Lily opened up the floodgates of emotions, they rushed out and never stopped.

James and Lily talked about everything. From being afraid of being in relationships, why Lily was waiting to have sex, how inadequate their friends sometimes made them feel. They talked on and on for three years. While both were away at college. The only thing they didn't talk about was their feelings. Well, that's not true. Lily tried to talk. Twice in fact. And both times James didn't want to talk about their late nights. The flirting glances over ice cream. The love songs. He was too lost in himself and past emotions to look forward and see. And as hard as Lily tried to be okay with it, she still liked him. She still saw a future with him.

"Lily, babe. He's in love with you!" Marlene would say. After Lily would text her with a what does this even mean?! text.

"Love is a very strong word Mar, but like? I think he likes me. He's just too hung up on past relationships. He's basically told me that. But sometimes, sometimes I think. I think that five years down the road we will run into each other and fall in love. In the same little town on the coast. In a little bar. And fall in love. It will just be in five years."

Five years. That's the mantra Lily repeated to herself every day they hung out the summer. When James invited her to the beach after she begged anyone to go with her. How they spent 6 hours in the water together. How Sirius taught her how to paddle board. When they drove around for hours. Listening to songs about love. Sitting on the beach, the only sounds being their breathing, the fire and the ocean. Calling.

Just wait five years. It will all work out in five years. But one day, Lily wrote a poem. A poem about the life she saw with James. And as soon as the poem was finished, Lily felt free. It was all she could do, she had given her heart twice. Now it was James' turn.

They kept in touch all throughout college. While he was out exploring, she was stuck at home. Sick and depressed, wishing for the next five years to fly ahead. To a time where she could be happy. When she could just get out of bed. When she could stop crying. When she could live again. Possibly even with James. Possibly not. But just passing these next five years to see what could be.

The poem lived long and forgotten in Lily's head. Those five years were hell. At times, Lily didn't even want to exist. All that kept her going was the promise of those next five years, whatever they may bring. And in those five years, Lily struggled, James was at the back of her mind. Boys seemed so insignificant compared to fighting to be alive. They still talked,every once in awhile. They sent memes back and forth almost daily. And Lily thought about what might be held in those upcoming years.

In those years, Lily moved to the beach. The ocean seemed to be the only thing that put her at ease. Where she could walk into the water and let the waves take you away. Lily would paint by the sea, and spend nights with a fire. Nights on the beach with James buried under grief and depression.

So when James texted Lily one night, she was surprised.

James: **Hey! I found out that we moved to the same area. Crazy how that worked out. Just wondering if you wanted to hang?**

And the first thing Lily thought of was that poem. And how it had been five years. Or close enough to it. So she went back and reread it. And with no hesitation she responded.

Lily: **Oh my god! It's been so long, James. I'd love to hang out, let's get drinks! There is a great bar I know of, right by my house!**

Lily didn't even wait for a response. She was already getting ready for a night on the town. A night to fall slightly back in love with a boy. But not any boy. With James. With someone who made her laugh harder and more true than with anyone else. How he turned her drunk rambling into a tattoo idea. One that gave her strength in her darkest moments.

Lily's fingers were running over those words, The Ocean Believes when she got a text back.

James: **Sounds great, where should I pick you up at?**

Just like James, Lily thought. Incesting that he drive. He never let her pick him up. He was always the one driving, never accepting gas money. Just picking her up and driving her around their small shitty town. But now they were in a slightly bigger town. And one less shitty. Full of possibilities. Of love. So she just texted him her address and finished applying her makeup.

But again she was drawn back to her poem. And what it meant. So in the last few minutes, she printed it off. Sticking the paper in her back pocket when she heard a knock on her door.

Lily didn't even pause. She threw open the door and wrapped her arms firmly around James.

"Oh god how I've missed you!" Lily closed her eyes and thought of all the old memories. How safe she felt with him. It wasn't until then did she notice how he had changed. How tall James had gotten. How he slimmed down a bit, like he always said he would. Lily pulled back to look to see if he had grown out his hair to that awful Afro he said he always wanted. He hadn't, thank God. But Lily caught James smiling down at her. (Since when has he gotten so tall?)

"What are you smiling at Lily?" James' smile lighting up the whole room. His arms still firmly around her, hands settled on her waist.

"I was seeing if you had grown out your hair."

"Oh god. I can't believe that's the first real thing you say to me Evans. Did you grow out your hair? I did. In college. But we're 24 now. I'm past those childish things. Plus it didn't look very good." Lily just gazed up at him. A smiles stuck on her face. She said nothing as she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her parking lot. Towards the unknown.

They showed up at the bar, and Lily felt her smile widen when James ordered two glasses of wine for the both of them. He always had been a wine snob. White wine is for seafood, the beach or sunny days is what he had told her over text when she was drunk off wine in the tub. Like a poor 20 year old could be picky with what alcohol they were given. Lily only smiled at him, following James to a table.

"So how long has it been? Two years? I can't believe we all just lost touch in college." James swirled his wine around as he waited for Lily to answer.

Lily passed her glass back and forth between her hands, her fingers smudging the glass slightly. Lily chewed the inside of her lip, deciding how to answer. "Yeah, maybe three? I was having a really rough time when I was sick James. I felt so alone while you all where at college. I had to stop being on social media, it made me feel like I was missing out. Like you all were living this great life, without me. How happy you all seemed. I couldn't do it. And after that, you guys didn't even text me. We all just let me slip away." Lily closed her eyes as she felt the tears brim over. Her lip already between her teeth, and she hadn't even drank her wine yet.

"Lily…" James whispered. He had always been so uncomfortable around feelings. Particularly Lily's feelings as they mostly were about him.

"I so badly want to say it's okay. But it wasn't. I wasn't. I would send out 30 snaps a day just to talk to someone. And you guys would leave me on read. I had to beg conversations out of you. So then I just stopped talking to you guys. Why bother?" Lily cut off her own thoughts by taking a long swig of wine. After a few good gulps she set the glass down and looked back at James. "This is not what I wanted to talk about with you. I didn't agree to come here to make you upset. I'm sorry. Let's just talk about something else?" She shot him a sad smile.

"I'm sorry Lily. I truly didn't know it was that bad. You seemed okay. You acted happy. I mean I know you weren't, you were so sick. Having to go to the doctors all the time, no one believing you about your pain. But you were sending out so many snaps. And laughing. And sending music. And I know it's not an excuse, but I was also at school. Living my life, and you'd send so many snaps. I just didn't even know what to say to you any more. But I should have reached out more. We all should have. And I'm sorry." James reached across the small table and grabbed Lily's hand, giving it a small squeeze. "So, what have you been up to in these three years? What brought you to the beach?"

Lily sighed. This was a much easier topic. "Remember how I joked about opening a bakery? One made for people like me who have to eat for their health. Well. I did it. It's called Upper Crust. It's an all vegan and gluten free bakery. It's truly my passion, though I could do without the early mornings. And when I'm not at the bakery I'm painting. I've been relearning to paddle board too. Sirius and you weren't the best teachers. Basically I'm living how the summer of 2019 was. Always at the beach." She flashed him a big smile as she finished off her glass of wine. James finished off his as he waved down a waiter for another round.

"Oh my god that sounds amazing! I'm glad you are doing better. Man, I forgot how good of a baker you are. I'm sure you're very popular." His hand, which had only left hers to flag down the waiter began to rub small circles on Lily's hand.

Lily, being a lightweight was already slightly tipsy. Which lead her to not think before she opened her mouth. "Oh I am! All the men in town love me!" James' smile faltered for a minute before Lily realized her mistake. "Oh god, I just put my foot in my mouth. I just mean that I have a lot of men stop in often for stuff for their partners, and they get a lot of brownie points. Can you tell I've had a glass?" Lily quickly reached out to grab the new glass of wine.

James laughed and ran his fingers through his hair, his cheeks were already slightly pink from the wine. "I forgot how much of a lightweight you are! And wine is for sipping Lily! If you are going to drink like that, get some shots or something don't ruin a perfectly good wine."

"Wine is meant to be drank straight out of the bottle and you know it James Potter!" And so they continued on for the rest of the evening. Talking and reliving life. Rediscovering themselves, and each other.

Lily hasn't had this much fun in years. Her smile felt light and her soul felt free. And so, without a moment's hesitation, she kissed him. Lily put everything she ever wanted into that kiss. The pain and the joy that comes with crushes and first loves. She kissed James so hard she didn't even notice when her boob knocked over her glass of wine.

James was slightly breathless as Lily pulled away. His eyes wide and unfocused. Breath consistent, and deep. Lily didn't give him time to speak. She softly smiled at him as she threw down some money and left the bar. Wondering why she ever though five years could hide or change anything.

Lily was not expecting to feel a hand wrap around her arm. To give a light pull, turning her around. To see James, a giddy smile on his face. Eyes still wide and excited. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, unable to find the words. What do you ever say when one of your best friends kisses you? What do you do when it's all you wanted them to do for years? What then? Then you kiss her.

James sunk his fingers deep into Lily's hair and he pulled her close and kissed the daylights out of her. Peppering Lily's face with kisses between every breath. Smiling so wide it became impossible to kiss any longer.

"James …" Lily whispered. Biting her lips as she rubbed her lipstick off his lips. Lily felt James' hands move onto her hips, fingers looping into her belt loops.

"Lily Marie Evans…" He always said her full name when he was teasing her, but that was not what was reflected in his eyes just then.

"James Potter, you can't just kiss me like that and not say anything." Lily was breathing heavily, arms snakes around his neck.

"Well, I don't have anything to say. I just did." James was smiling so hard, he didn't notice Lily's frown.

She unwrapped her arms around his neck and stepped back. The only thing keeping her close was James' fingers in her belt loops. "You don't have anything to say? James, you just kissed me. You don't get to do that and not say something. We aren't kids anymore. You are twenty four years old. You have to be responsible for your actions."

"Can't we just see where this goes?" James questioned. He leaned forward to kiss Lily again but she pulled back, her belt loops tearing at the force.

"No. James, come on. This isn't fair. We aren't some horny twenty one year olds. You know I liked you. You know that I've struggled in respecting you and your choices when you treated me like a girlfriend and said you couldn't date me. No we never dated, but my god James. What do you call all the bonfires? And the love songs? What do you have to say about talking about intamcy and sex and how we are afarid to be open? Well guess what buddy, I am good and damn well open. Have been for a while. And I am not doing this again."

James' face scrunched up in a fake anger only alcohol can give. Where your body tells you to be mad, so you are. With no real thoughts or emotions behind the words.

"Come on Lily. I haven't seen you in years and you want to bring this up? We were eighteen! Barely out of college and you talked like you loved me. I wasn't ready for that. Hell, I still aren't. But we are drunk and made out. Can't we just let it be and forget about it in the morning?"

Lily could tell she was drunk, because at that moment she began to cry. "Fuck you, James Potter. It seems I've clearly never been as big to you as you have been to me. You were one of my best friends. Have you ever considered I could love you as a friend and still like you as a partner?" Lily reached into her back pocket and pulled out her poem. "I wrote this. About you and I. Whatever we were. Whatever we are. Maybe this will make you realize what you meant to be."

Lily didn't even wait to see James catch that little piece of paper before she turned around and walked away.

The paper fell into the wet pavement. James watched it fall as he just stood there. As he had for many things. So he did what he hadn't before. He sat down. In the wet puddle right outside that bar. And he unfolded the paper and read.

I'll See You in Five Years

We met in high school

The day I realized I liked you

You starting dating another girl

It's okay I told myself

We can just be friends

And we were

We are

But in this friendship

You were the first person I told

About my mom's cancer

About failing classes

I was the first person you told

About missing college deadlines

And how inadequate you feel

Around our friends

And we'd talk

My god how we talk

About everything and nothing

And I decided to bring it up

That I liked you

After you told me about this perfect date

How you wanted to be in love

How you wanted to spend all night

Under the stars

Watching them

dance across the sky

You told me no

That you are not what I need

And I let it be

We continued on

You'd ask to come visit me

And explore the world

My world

Christmas rolled around a year later

And again I asked you

Again you said

No I'm not right for you

So I stopped

I let us carry on once more

And here we tread

Through it all

Us both saying we want three kids

How we are scared to open up

Where we both want to live

How easy it is to speak to each other

Through late night bonfires

Where you play me ukulele

Us getting drunk on a beach

You just smiling at my drunk ass

You playing me a song about getting

Married

You playing me a song about

Why can't you say you love me

In five years you say

In five years I'll have it worked out

My mom thinks we are dating

Your parents think we are dating

I think we are almost dating

But we still have 5 years

So I'll see you then

When we end up in the same town

Both single

And still slightly in love

When we inevitably wind up

Together again

We'll have the three kids

And live by the beach

So,

Love

I'll see you in five years

Until then

James didn't even realize he was crying until the end. Because nothing makes you face your life more than being drunk. And by God, did James' reality come crashing down in that moment. Because he had forgotten who Lily was. She wasn't some girl. She wasn't even a friend. She was Lily. And a person is always a person, no matter their relation to you.

But Lily was his Lily. The same girl that laid in the grass on the beach to take a good picture of him. The one what sent him memes when he was stressed. Who truly listened to him. And he fucked it up. James let his own self worth dictate others thoughts of him. And he let fear keep him happy. He hadn't been blind after all. James and known. Every time Lily's feelings returned, or disappeared he knew. She was not very good at hiding her emotions after all. And he hadn't either. At times James forgot that they weren't dating, and would touch her. Stare at her just a second too long, simply because he forgot he was staring.

James wiped his eyes with the back of his flannel. He had really fucked up. He fucked up a lot of things, but he refused to fuck up with Lily again.

So, James pulled himself up and began to drunkenly stumble towards Lily's little house. The pretty little blue house covered in old Christmas lights and grape vines. James cared not that it was three am on a Friday, or that he really didn't know where he was going, but he trudged on. To Lily. To love. And maybe some water because being hungover in the morning would make today that much worse.

But today, God had already decided James had enough chances, for he did not grant him good eyesight. And even with his glasses, James missed the turn for Lily's street. And so James drunkenly wondered.

And it wasn't until James came upon a cat did he stop to wonder where he was.

"Hello cat. I shall have to call you cat because I don't know your birth name. Would you care to tell me?" James leaned down and slumped again the cool brick of some old building. "Well, it is June, shall I call you Junie? You do have a terribly wise and old way to you. What do you think of that, Junie?" The fat black cat only purred in response, slightly nudging James onwards. "Juniper you say? I'm terribly sorry for the confusion. Put could you point me towards a Lily Evans?"

"James, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Cursing is a bit much don't you think? Though, I agree. I don't know what I am doing." James sloppy ran his fingers through the cats thick black fur.

"Gods, how drunk are you? You only had a few glasses of wine. Your face is so red."

"Well, you see Juniper, I am what the humans call Asian. And I have this thing called Asian flush. But that is of no use to a cat." He smiled down at the cat, to see she had moved to sit under a pair of feet. And when James looked up he saw a body attached to the feet. A body that belonged to one Lily Marie Evans.

"James. If I knew you were this drunk I wouldn't have left you. Okay, I still would have. But I would have looked for you sooner." Lily awkwardly moved to sit beside James. Juniper jumping to sit in Lily's lap.

"Hi." James managed to mumble out.

"Hi." Lily whispered back. It was the small smile she gave him that gave James hope. So he reached out and grabbed her hand.

"That was a beautiful poem you wrote. I am sure if I was sober I'd appreciate it a lot more, but it still made me cry." James turned to face Lily. Grabbing the back of her head, pulling her closer till their foreheads met. "I have been very stupid, and alcohol makes me feel more stuipd and for that I am sorry. But I still stand by the fact that I don't know what this is. Or where its going, but I'd like to find out. It wasn't fair of me to ask you to pretend something didn't happen. I'm sorry. Can you forgive this idiot?"

"Of course I can. I hope you can forgive me too. It wasn't fair to demand something of you that you aren't ready to give. And alcohol doesn't help anything. I am sorry I blew up. I've just liked you for a really really long time James. And I got caught up in old dreams and ideas. But I'd really like to see where this goes." The two both laughed before James leaned forward and kissed Lily. It was sweet and simple. Everything a sixteen year old girl dreams of. And nothing like the drunkenly sloppy kiss they shared earlier.

And so while James and Lily's fate remains unknown, the present is here for the taking. Will they end up with three children and a house by the beach, who knows? Certainly not them. Because there is a lot of growing left to do, they just now get to grow together.

**Thank you for reading! I hope to work on Game of Wands soon. Happy and Safe holidays. **


End file.
